Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
