Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
