yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
