I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
