I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
