the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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