I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
