okay pat passed out under dana's car
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
