Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
