That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
