Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
