I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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