you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
