your thong is hanging out like whoa
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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