Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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