Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
