If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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