You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Brb crying the tears of my youth
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
