i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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