Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
