what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
