The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
