so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
