Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
