someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Can you bring me the toilet please
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
