It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
