this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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