Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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