i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
