yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
