3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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