do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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