I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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