Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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