you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize