Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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