he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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