He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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