yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
