Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
