my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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