i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
