so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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