i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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