Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
