sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
