I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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