Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
