Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
why does every cop we meet know your name?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
