...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
