We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
There r osticjed everywhere
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You pole danced in your parka.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
